Today is not the greatest. I miss my mom. It is always around now that I really hate the smell of fall. I love the cold and the big jackets and blankets by the fire. It's the smell though. Fall has a very distinct smell, that tells you that we are headed into the Holidays. Don't get me wrong I do love the holidays but then I still carry a knot in my throat until around march. Everyone starts talking about where their spending Thanksgiving and who's coming for Christmas. All of their mothers just spoil their children so badly over the Holidays and they always gripe. Yes I am jealous I don't have that. That is one of the few things I find myself getting jealous about. It makes me angry that she isn't here to spoil my children and help with the turkey on Thanksgiving morning. Mom is always the one thing missing for Christmas Eve. I still picture her bright eyes and Chester the cat smile every Christmas morning during the chaos of unwrapping presents. We never had a whole lot for Christmas growing up but she did the best she could. The card was the meaningful part. I wish I would have kept every Christmas card she got me and I would read them over and over. I will miss her this year..........